Over the spring and summer of 2025, my father passed away.
This has been a tough year, and I put a pause on a lot of things in life to just handle and grieve my father’s passing.
The biggest decision I made was to move back home to live with my family. That has been helpful, as I am with friends and family most of the time, and it’s been helpful in terms of just feeling better.
I am not going to go into details about the rest because I don’t want to talk about it. I am still grieving, but I am definitely getting better.
In terms of me and what happened to me dealing with this depression:
I gained weight, lots of weight. I lost my running speed and stamina and lost a lot of muscle.
So now I’m starting from a bulk at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I don’t want to think I’m starting from zero.
CHALLENGES AND WHAT I’M DOING TO OVERCOME THEM
- 3–4 days a week in office
- 4-hour train
- Barely any time
Now that I live back home, going to the office is a bit more challenging because the train ride is 2 hours.
However, this time is not all dead time it’s used for coding, music, and games, but mostly coding and music.
The weight issue: for lunch, I’ll be going to my co-worker’s condo and using their gym there, so I’ll be able to work out and then eat at my desk while I work. as well as trying to get 10k steps by walking every 25 minutes at the desk
I’m giving myself until the end of the year, maybe March/April, and then I’ll see if I want to move back. If I do, I’ll move back with a roommate.
CONCLUSION
It has been a very tough summer, but I’m slowly coming back to who I want to become. I spent enough time feeling sad and depressed—it’s time to move forward. But whenever I feel sad or I start thinking about my father, I’m not going to suppress it. I’ll let it be within my life, because it is hard to lose a parent, and there is really no guide to how to handle this. But I do know if I hold it in, it’s not going to be good for anyone.